BOTTOM LINE: You won’t get out of people what you can only get in Christ.
INTRO
If you could be BFFs with anyone, who would you choose?
Epic friendships: Rocky & Apollo; Spongebob & Patrick; Kristoff & Sven
TENSION
What do you look for in a friend?
3 eternal things: God, His Word, and the souls of people (treasures in heaven, Matt. 6)
You won’t get out of people what you can only get in Christ.
TRUTH
Scripture: Proverbs 12:26
- Context: Proverbs theme, 3x/day, contrasts, characters (3)
- Background: Chapter 12: Learn & stand; praise & blame; speech & silence; diligence & laziness
- Friends can be life-giving.
Tûr – To seek out, spy out, explore, or make reconnaissance
- This is a difficult Hebrew phrase to interpret. When we come across a difficult phrase, look at the context!
- Comparisons (diligence & laziness)
- Comparing in v.26 to how a wicked person leads someone astray.
- The best way to understand: “The righteous are a guide to righteousness, but the wicked lead others astray.”
A good friend is invested in you. He knows your personality and your circumstances.
A good friend gives good advice.
- Godly
- Gives the truth, even when it’s not popular, or when it hurts.
- Gives advice out of love.
A good friend is a walking picture of Matthew 22:37-40 – They love God and love others.
Do you have a godly friend guiding you?
- Friends can be life-destroying.
Have you ever seen someone’s life spiral down b/c they got new friends?
Tā â – To secude, vacillate, wander
- They may not want to be a leader, but they lead.
- They can’t even guide themselves, but you end up following them.
- Apart from faith in Jesus, this is the default setting of a human (Is. 53:6).
Scriptural Support
Galatians 3 – “O foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you?”
1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be deceived, ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”
Galatians 3:11-14 – Peter and Barnabas changed their behavior based off of the influence of bad Christians. (Even mature Christians)
Astray…from what?
“The way of the wicked”
Peace w/God Eternal life Honesty & Integrity
No regret in teen years Eternal significance
Peace w/family
- The gap widens the older you get (MS, HS, College)
Why do teens leave the church after high school? It has more to do with fraternities and sororities than it does with atheist professors (sorry God’s Not Dead).
Tension: What about friendships w/unsaved people?
- Nobody wanders into life-giving friendships.
Three kinds of people in Proverbs
- The Wise – People who fear God.
- The Simple* – People who give little thought to the way they live.
- The Fool – People who live in active rebellion against God.
* Unfortunately, many of us play the part of The Simple. It’s how we’re led astray.
See if you can recognize these people…
The Wise are careful about who influences them, and who they influence.
Wise friends have godly people as influencers.
- (13:20) “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”
Wise friends make good decisions.
- (14:16) “The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence.”
Wise friends know what’s important in life.
- (14:8) “The prudent understand where they are going, but fools deceive themselves.”
Wise friends don’t get offended easily.
- (19:20) “Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.”
- (17:10) “A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool.”
Wise friends honor and obey their parents.
- (13:1) “A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction.”
Wise friends are careful with their words.
- (16:23) “From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.”
Wise friends have nothing to prove.
- (11:2) “Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
Wise friends take God at his Word.
- (3:7) “Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.”
Wise friends honor and obey God.
- (9:10) “Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.”
- (Psalm 111:10) “Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom.”
- (15:33) “Fear of the Lord teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor.”
Wise friends control their temper.
- (29:11) “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”
The Simple don’t give a thought to the way their friends influence them.
The simple friend has truth go in one ear, and out the other.
- (1:22) – “How long, you simpletons, will you insist on being simpleminded?”
The simple friend is too lazy to seek out wisdom.
- (1:23) – “For simpletons turn away from me—to death.”
The simple friend is blind to moral wrecking-balls.
- (7:7-8) – “I saw some naive young men, and one in particular who lacked common sense. He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman, strolling down the path by her house.”
The simple friend doesn’t care about the decisions she makes.
- (8:5) – “You simple people, use good judgment.”
- (9:4,6) – “’Come in with me,’” she urges the simple. ‘To those who lack good judgment, she says, leave your simple ways behind, and begin to live; learn to use good judgment.’”
The simple friend believes everything he is told.
- (14:15) – “Only simpletons believe everything they’re told! The prudent carefully consider their steps.”
The simple friend is always wondering how she got herself into a hot mess.
- (14:18) – “Simpletons are clothed with foolishness, but the prudent are crowned with knowledge.”
- (22:13) – “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”
The Foolish are actively living against God, and that shows up in their relationships.
The foolish friend is like a volcano.
- (29:11) – “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”
The foolish friend thinks he’s invincible. He doesn’t care about the consequences.
- (14:16) – “The wise are cautious and avoid danger; fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence.”
The foolish friend talks smack about what he doesn’t know.
- (10:14) – “Wise people treasure knowledge, but the babbling of a fool invites disaster.”
The foolish friend makes gossip an Olympic sport.
- (10:18) – “Hiding hatred makes you a liar; slandering others makes you a fool.”
The foolish friend’s favorite pastime is getting into trouble.
- (10:23) – “Doing wrong is fun for a fool, but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible.”
The foolish friend is hard-headed and stubborn.
- (12:15) – “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.”
- (28:26) – Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.
The foolish friend is proud of her stupidity, and posts it to her social accounts.
- (13:16) – “Wise people think before they act; fools don’t—and even brag about their foolishness.”
The foolish friend doesn’t listen to his parents, because they’re old.
- (15:5) – “Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise.”
The foolish friend makes the same stupid decisions over and over, yet expects different results.
- (26:11) – “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.”
Which category describes your friends?
Which category describes the kind of friend you are?
- When it comes to friends, Jesus is the G.O.A.T.
Isaiah 53
- Jesus the righteous (v.11)
- Us, the wanderers (“Toxic people” – we’re all toxic!) (v.6)
- Jesus, the solution (v.11)
John 15:14-15
- Friendship w/Jesus = a life spent with him
- Doing his commands
You can’t get out of people what you can only get in Christ.
People who receive grace become givers of grace. The greatest friendships are the ones that are filled with grace.
An on-point relationship with Christ isn’t the key to satisfying relationships, it IS the satisfying relationship. (Pastor Mota)
APPLICATION
#1 – Friend: Become a friend of Jesus.
#2 – Facts: Find wisdom in God’s Word.
(Psalm 19:7) The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
#3 – Figure-Out: Figure out the qualities you want in a friend. Write them down.
Make hard decisions now, not later. It’ll always be harder later.
#4 – Fresh: When the opportunity comes up, speak fresh life into your friends.
#5 – Fess Up: Fess up to the fact that you need grace just as much as anyone else.
Preach the gospel to yourself. Make it a habit to receive God’s grace daily, and watch yourself become a life-giving friend to others.
refuelwednesday 